Retarded Trophies
Purdue vs Indiana, 3:30 pm EST, Big Ten Network
Boilermakers and Hoosiers play for a bucket. We're talking Corky level retarded, but that's what you have to get excited about when either one of these teams is only bowl eligible every 4 or 5 years.
Purdue 28 Indiana 35
Paterno State vs Michigan State, 3:30 pm EST, ABC
Theoretically this game could rank higher, but c'mon! neither of these teams are rivals and they play for a fuckin' bell dubbed the "Land Grant Trophy" for Christ's sake. This game routinely has the drama and pageantry of a high school homecoming game. I can't even really blame Penn State, they came into the Big Ten in the early 90s and were looking for some games that could be scheduled every season, so, the Big Ten schedule makers say, "Hey, your university is a land grant established school, how about we team you up with Ohio State and Michigan State every year?" Paterno says sure, end of story. The real reason this game doesn't rank as high is because of the continual crappiness of MSU and how by mid October every season they've folded like a card table. That being said, I'm picking MSU to upset Penn State.
MSU 28 PSU 17
Team Slumpbuster vs Illinois, 12:00 EST, ESPN
Playing for a peace pipe, really? Wait, let me guess, the
Illinois 38 Northwestern 24
"Me? 'Smoke'em peace pipe, I think rather not, Chief Runs-With-Coeds. Nay, this fine Cuban and a glass of port shall suffice."Modestly non-Retarded Trophies
Wisconsin vs Michigan, 3:30 pm, EST, Big Ten Network
Easily the most awesome trophy in the Big Ten, a five foot tall axe once owned by Paul Bunyan himself. The mythos and cultural connotations alone are all that this trophy needs to make it the most relevant. The Badgers and Gophers have faced off 117 times and very rarely has the game meant anything more than state bragging rights, still, the trophy is badass.
Wisconsin 24 Minnesota 10
"I will slaughter you with my huge axe.Big Ten Title bout
Ohio State vs Michigan, 12:00 EST, ABC
Lloyd Carr's final season, Michael Hart, Chad Henne and Jake Long's final home game, I really don't see how UM loses this. Wait, yes I do! Henne's arm is attached with some vermicelli pasta and duct tape and Hart's -- as usual, dinged up. As much as I've discussed Michigan winning the Big Ten and how disgracefully fitting that would be for this vastly underwhelming conference with the injuries I can't see Michigan winning. If Hart and Henne are on the field it will be a different story.
OSU 20 Michigan 17
2 comments:
1) Wisconsin vs Michigan was last week bud (Title is wrong, rest of text is correct).
2) Calling the Land Grant Trophy a bell gives it far too much aesthetic credit - it's basically un ugly, misshapen block (what can you expect when MSU's Coach/AD designed it?)
3) I really can't believe you're going against your own rule and picking MSU to win an important game (for them) after October.
Good call on the typo. I could fix it, eh. MSU has been dropping all kinds of points lately and Penn State's defense hasn't really impressed me in the few times I've seen them-thrice: Michigan, Wisconsin*, OSU. Plus the game's in Lansing.
*They shut down UW sure. But it was totally not fair of PSU to not give the Badgers a 10 point handicap...
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