Illinois 28 Ohio State 21
Much like the bullet-proof flak jackets, SWAT members wear to keep those bullets on the outside, can be penetrated with the blade of a knife Ohio State's "bullet-proof" defense weaved out of spare limbs, steroids and Kevlar finally met their match. The knife in this case was Illinois' mobile, "athletic" Juice Williams who tortured the Buckeyes' linebackers and secondary all day. A combo of keepers and juuuust enough passes with juuust enough accuracy to slice thru the layers of scarlet and gray Kevlar of OSU and suddenly the Buckeyes were on the ground bleeding and radioing back to HQ, "Demanding back-up, Officer down! Officer down!" Meanwhile, Todd Boeckman showed his worst side at the worst possible moment throwing 3 picks to no TDs and, indeed, eating a huge dick/laying a gigantic egg/choking when he should've been ice cold. Beanie Wells did what he could against a stout and resilient Illini defense, however, Beanie was only one man in a frontier land fraught with upset and situations tOSU had been unfamiliar with all year.
Wisconsin 37 Michigan 21
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! I did not foresee this at all, and when I checked in on the score midway thru the second quarter at an Irish pub in New York City, I was shocked. I didn't get to see most of this game but judging from the box score UW's patented-if not erratic- "Strangulator" defense showed up as opposed to the cartoon pirate-badger defense that they've favored for most of the season. Wisconsin was also the beneficiary of having Michigan's backup QB and backup running back in for the majority of the game, once again proving the axiom, "Tis better to be fortunate than wise." In any case, UW has now won two out of the past three games against the Wolverines, which may be a sign that the worm is slowly, oh, so slowly turning in UW's favor in this most lopsided of series'.
Paterno State 31 Temple 0
What do you know, I totally called the points total for PSU, sadly, PSU's defense performed far too admirably and pitched the shut-out. Unbelievably, PSU held Temple to only 4!!! yards of rushing offense which is downright amazing. Yes, I am considering how shitty Temple is: 4 yards is still 4!! yards.
Team Slumpbuster 31 Indiana 28
Indiana displayed in all of it's glory their typical and controversial French military-themed defensive scheme of "letting the other team's players run into the end zone." Based off the Maginot Line and the hope that Kellen Lewis and James Hardy will score enough points, the Hoosiers defense could not slow down Team Slumpbuster and ended up losing. C'est la vie!
The Maginot Line: Not just for the French!Minnesota, Iowa, Michigan State and Purdue all competed as well, but, frankly, I could give two shits about any of those games...
