Midweek Updates

Hope everyone had a great Christmas with tons of cheer. I, for one, had a sweet and sour Christmas; on the sweet side I went to my uncle's house in south-central Ohio and shot some guns and bows and ate a ton of turkey and ham. On the sour side I hung out with my dad's girlfriend's family on Christmas Eve and that's always capital A-wkward. In any case the staff and I have compiled some fun links-holiday related and otherwise.


Air Force Ones Turn 25
The signature shoes of the NBA, street-culture and hip hop turn 25 this week, and, yes, they're still fresh as hell.

Evidence A in the State's defense of AF1s continuing "Freshosity": Charles Barkley's Throwback Edition


How Many?
I saw this over at the Big Lead originally and it is too much fun to pass up. Click on the link and find out how many five year olds you could take at once. I got to 28 and I'm sure that there are at least a few readers out there with even fewer moral qualms than me...

Tiger Attack!
I guarantee you however many five year olds this whole website and the readers could take down, one tiger could easily treble that effort. As I was reading the story I found myself hoping, well, expecting the two victims to have opened the tiger cage and tried tickling it with a feather, alas that was not the case.

New Year's Eve Plans?
What's everybody doing? I'll be nestled in my cozy bed with some netflixxed episodes of Gilmore Girls by around quarter 'til ten, but leave your New Year's Eve plans in the comments.

Midweek Updates

Here's a slew of news, notes and tidbits you can impress your coworkers with at the office holiday party.

NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!!
Worst. News. Ever. Jessica Alba is pregnant, I can't emphasize enough how depressing this news is. First off, the staff of suddenlystruttin are staunchly against over-population. Secondly-and well, way more importantly-do you know how gross Jessica Alba is going to look, now that she's preggers? ICK! What with the bulging stomach and all those filthy veins popping through, Christ, why can't she just adopt?


Sigh, in memorial: Jessica Alba's smokin' hottt body.

Nerds Gaining Too Much Sway With Lexicographers
Merriam-Webster announced today that the word "w00t" as the word of the year. Yes, that's right a "w" and a "t" with two 0's in between is the word of the year. What does "w00t" mean? you might be wondering, well, you "newb" the term "w00t" is used to describe joy or glee. For example: A freedom-hating nerd might use the term "w00t" when informed of Jessica Alba's pregnancy.

Tribune Co. to Sell Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field
Billionaire owner Sam Zell is planning on selling the Cubs and Wrigley Field from the family of Tribune-owned properties. Which is funny, cause, you konw, the Cubs are vastly more profitable than a moribund newspaper franchise with a weak-ass web presence, but I'm just a blogger, so what do I know. In any case, the imminent sale is exciting for me, as I'm really hoping Mark Cuban buys the Cubs.

Midweek Updates

Boy George Will Kidnap You
Are you a foreign escort visiting Jolly Old England? Well, look out! Cuz, Boy George is going to kidnap you, chain you to a wall, drag out the sex toys and "give you what you deserve." WOW! I couldn't make that sound more creepy if I wanted to. Wait! I've got it! What if I publish a photo of a washed up pop-singer in his late 40s...


Eureka! Instant Nightmare Fuel.

The Baptists are a caring and understanding bunch
See this is why I'm a Catholic, because Catholics have so much "tolerance" for homosexuals and, of course, by "tolerance" I mean unwillingness to allow them in the church. Unlike, those slimy Baptists who say "Come on over" and then kick the homosexuals out, along with the offending church who allowed those filthy heathens in, in the first place...

Blogger Rights vs. "Journalists Rights"
Yep, bloggers are the problem. Because newspapers and "real" media outlets never, ever, ever publish hearsay.

Midweek Updates

Happy Wednesday, today is famed Algerian/French philosopher, social critic and author Albert Camus' date of birth. Happy Birthday, Albert. We Love You!


Dark Wizardry has it's benefits

Some powerful "scientists"/Warlocks met up at a "convention"/Black Mass in Wisconsin this week to discuss "Science"/Dark Arts and concocted this "video" as part of their brainwashing attempts.


Don't let the charming beeps and rhythm fool you. If those Wizards could they would kill you and everyone you care about.

Spider Girl now just a Normal

Foolish human doctors in India have mutilated the beautiful Spider Girl, Peter Parker's Indian love child from an adventuresome romp through the bedrooms of Calcutta. In any case after the Mutant Wars of 2015 those genetic freaks, uhh, genetic-lottery winners are going to be ever so pissed about the mutilation of Spider Girl. Retribution = lots of Norms Kidnapping.

Excess Pounds Raise Women's Cancer Risk; Lowers STD Risk

In a startling discovery scientists have come to the conclusion that overweight women are at a greater risk of cancer but a lower rate of STDs.

From the South being less Smart Dept.:

I know that a few readers of suddenlystruttin are from the fair state of South Carolina, any justification for your Democrats taking Stephen Colbert seriously? No comment? Oh, because, you "cain't find that Internet Machine." No, of course, I understand. Sometimes I lose my house keys.

Midweek Updates

A morbid and somber collection of (mostly) celebrity-related links on this All Hallows Eve. Also, what with it being Halloween, how many of the suddenlystruttin readership is dressing up and going out tonight? I can't completely explain it, but Halloween to many 20 somethings means more now as an opportunity to get wasted and/or lucky than it did as a chance to get free candy as a kid. I can completely understand the superficialities, I mean, isn't alcohol simply candy for grown ups? But there's something else there too, the costumes et cetera... In any case tell everybody what your costume is in the comments and be safe out there, don't drink anything with a razor blade sticking out of it.





RIP Robert Goulet
There are countless times when I wished Robert Goulet was my dad and, hmmm, that's about it, actually, I'm pretty sure I'll remember him more from the Will Ferrell skits on SNL.

Genius! I always hated the Jackass spinoff shows on MTV, in particular Bam Margera's show and his personality really grated on me. Completely unfunny cock knocker who'd wiped out sans helmet one too many times. The shadenfreude is off the charts with this story. The best part is the quote, "just kill me now!" Nice, dude.

Early leader and surefire winner of Jack Ass of the Week Ladies if you live in Phoenix and work at Hooters please remember to remove your baby from the car.

It's Time For Another Midweek Update

Slow and boring news week thus far. Al Gore doesn't want to run for President again and, hmmm, that's sorta it. C'mon celebrities, do something stupid and dangerous. And where are all the shark attacks and reports of rednecks dangling babies over freeways? In any case here's some "interesting " "news" from the Internets.

Best Buy to discontinue Analog TVs Yeah, so, if you don't have a digital television yet, you might want to get on that. [Editor's note: "Uhh, sir, we don't have a digital tv yet.] Although something tells me that by the time the Mutant Wars of 2015 have taken out a third of the US population, those mutants will have raided an old analog broadcast station to send their message of "peace" to the masses.


Hardee's announces Gigantic Breakfast Burrito! Can you say "Eggs"-treme? Do you crave a breakfast burrito jam packed with muscle building proteins and fats? Do you scoff at Denny's Lumberjack Slam and say "I want more! "Well, friend, somebody heard you, and that "somebody" was Hardee's. The fast-food chain has announced the debut of their new 920 calorie breakfast burrito, the burrito harbors a staggering 60 grams of fat and is loaded with: 2 eggs, sausage, bacon, ham, hash browns and country gravy all wrapped in a flour tortilla. Your brain will say "Gimme." and your gut will say "Thanks."

Uhh, chicagoburgerproject, I think I smell a field trip!


"Chicago could use a casino!" Politicos and lawmakers alike are debating the feasibility of a casino in the City of Broad Shoulders, I, for one, am all for it. I mean, when, in the course of humankind has a casino been a bad idea? What? No sports gambling!?! This is an outrage!

It's Midweek Updates!

Here at suddenlystruttin we care about our readership and want you to be as well-informed as possible. We take the time to dig up the relevant and/or inane of the Internets. Read, comment and above all else, be informed! Love, the staff of suddenlystruttin.

Oh sure, when I don't show up for work for two weeks, because I didn't tell my superiors I was smoking a lot of opium and getting "my life straight" I get fired. But when this guy doesn't show up for two weeks he gets to "resign." Man, fuck politicians.

Jack Bauer to face 48 days in jail. I don't understand how a real American hero such as Jack Bauer couldn't possibly have received a Presidential pardon; I mean, how's a twice-convicted drunk driver like Jack Bauer s'posed to save the free-fucking-world from terror when he's behind bars? He can't, that's how.

It's Fire Prevention Week! Remember: Stop, Drop, and Roll. Especially when this friendly firelady is trying to get you out of a burning building.


"Insert clever and sexy pick up line here. *


A very incredible story about the Nobel laureate for medicine. Saw his mom get arrested by Nazis, lived on the streets and then wins a Nobel Prize? Man, I've totally been slacking my whole life. Also, just a reminder of how the award came about.**


* Paul, this one's for you!
** Paul, this one's also for you!

Midweek Updates: Drankin' a Magna Carta of Moet!

Hola, strutters. It's Wednesday and suddenlystruttin's staff wants you all to know the hot and valuable news items and miscellanea out in the Internets; so, that when that cocktail party you're hosting on Friday night rolls around, you'll have an ice breaker. Uhh, or something...

The Magna Carta is up for auction. In case you've forgotten your high school history and poli-sci teachers boring discussions on the significance of the Magna Carta, know this: The Magna Carta is the "Original Gangsta" of historically significant and boring documents, see: United States Constitution, Bill of Rights, Federalist Papers, Declaration of Independence. That being said, the only relevant and important thing to thank the Magan Carta for is the process of "Habeas Corpus." Also, the Magna Carta refers to a collection of writings and is not one static piece of parchment, remember that when you're bidding on it for upwards of 30 million.

The United States has some competition. This is the sort of news that just makes me sick! I mean, we're the fucking UNITED STATES and those limey bastards think they can elbow in on our claim to being a nation of fatties? I think not! I for one am going to double my intake of milk shakes and forego all healthy foods. Pass the Butterfingers!

In other news, it's a slooow week, but, I should be getting part 2 of "The Perils of Dating" out tomorrow or Friday or, y'know, when I get around to it.