In a triumphant return from a self-imposed hiatus that, admittedly, went on for far too long, "Jackass of the Week" is back with a vengeance this week.
This Week's Honor Goes To...
Cash Warren. Yes, Cash Warren is the son of a bitch who got Jessica Alba knocked up. Unfortunately, the staff of suddenlystruttin does not have Cash's home address so we cannot personally deliver the award* one wins for claiming Jackass of the Week, but one can hope that as the roles Alba is handed in Hollywood dry up, Cash will receive his karmic comeuppance.
Welcome, once again, to another edition of Bullish and Bearish-suddenlystruttin's quasi-weekly breakdown of the trends that define your world, or something...
Bullish:
Holiday-Themed Horror Movies
I netflixed the 1974 version of "Black Christmas" this week and I gotta tell you, I was impressed. It's a pretty bleak and very well-constructed horror film wherein-Spoiler Alert!- the bad guy wins in the end. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have the bad guy win in movies, it's one of those incredibly awesome plot devices, right up there with gratuitous nudity.
This week we're also rather bullish on Allen Iverson, who's Allen Iverson? you ask. Iverson, is arguably the shortest (no, seriously, like, waaaaay shorter than Tony Ritz, okay, three inches) awesome NBAer this side of Spud Webb and recently he hung out with Nelly, "Tch," I know, for a show on IFC. Here's what he had to say about OJ Simpson:
Seriously, I'm trying to make this not happen. The staff and I are thinking hard about restructuring suddenlystruttin as a not-for-profit [It's not already? Zing! -Ed.] solely designed to prevent extremely gorgeous Hollywood actresses from getting knocked up by anyone but ourselves by anyone.
Here's a slew of news, notes and tidbits you can impress your coworkers with at the office holiday party.
NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!! Worst. News. Ever. Jessica Alba is pregnant, I can't emphasize enough how depressing this news is. First off, the staff of suddenlystruttin are staunchly against over-population. Secondly-and well, way more importantly-do you know how gross Jessica Alba is going to look, now that she's preggers? ICK! What with the bulging stomach and all those filthy veins popping through, Christ, why can't she just adopt?
Sigh, in memorial: Jessica Alba's smokin' hottt body.
Nerds Gaining Too Much Sway With Lexicographers Merriam-Webster announced today that the word "w00t" as the word of the year. Yes, that's right a "w" and a "t" with two 0's in between is the word of the year. What does "w00t" mean? you might be wondering, well, you "newb" the term "w00t" is used to describe joy or glee. For example: A freedom-hating nerd might use the term "w00t" when informed of Jessica Alba's pregnancy.
Tribune Co. to Sell Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field Billionaire owner Sam Zell is planning on selling the Cubs and Wrigley Field from the family of Tribune-owned properties. Which is funny, cause, you konw, the Cubs are vastly more profitable than a moribund newspaper franchise with a weak-ass web presence, but I'm just a blogger, so what do I know. In any case, the imminent sale is exciting for me, as I'm really hoping Mark Cuban buys the Cubs.
Once more for posterity's sake, siggghhh.
