A Few Words on Chicago's Crosstown Showdown

Tom and I talked about MLB's interleague scheduling on the podcast this week and how even though neither of us had a problem with it, we just didn't -- for the most part -- understand what all the fuss was about. After all, every pro league in the US has had inter-conference/league play for the better part of the past 50 years and yet, when MLB went to it in the mid 90s the media made it seem as if the skies had opened up and with a bolt of thunder the Gods of Sport had decried that "Yes, this was right and good." Meanwhile, the teenage version of me was left muttering who gives a shit and when does college football season start again? Flash forward to 2008 and the mainstream sports media still sports a raging boner for interleague play; por example: Cubs vs. White Sox this weekend. Granted, both squads are in first place in the respective divisions; however, even when both teams are struggling to keep their heads above the .500 mark ESPN, WGN, The Sun-Times and the Trib are shilling these contests to the masses as if it were midseason World Series. Most galling is the absolute belief that the fans of both the Cubs and Sox have in thinking that this series is Oh, So Crucial and Relevant to the fate of the Second City. For those of us in the know, we're all far too aware that the only real loser when these squads collide isn't the North or South Side of Chicago but dignity itself. A tale of the tape, necessary? By all means!

Cubs vs White Sox: Pros

- Having both teams fan bases in the same stadium at the same time affords terrorists (who have grown sick of the constant media attention) the unique opportunity to, indeed, kill two birds with one stone.

- Having both teams fan bases in the same stadium at the same time affords West Side sports separatists (who have been clamoring for a West Side pro franchise) the unique opportunity to, indeed, kill two birds with one stone and make a pitch to West Side efficiency?)

- Having both teams fan bases in the same stadium at the same time affords both parties the unique opportunity to attempt to "outmurder" the other side. And since there will probably be metal detectors this means the sloven troglodytes from both the North and South will have to display an iota of creativity in finding a murder weapon upon entering the "friendly confines." Hopefully, there'll be at least one case of a forced drowning within a toilet or (even better!) a trough..

Cubs vs White Sox: Cons

- The rules of baseball do not afford ties. Sadly, one team or the other will have to win every game.

- With aforementioned win will come inevitable bluster and braggadocio from the curmudgeonly American mule (Lou Piniella) or cantankerous Venezuelan burro (Ozzie Guillen)

Feel free to add your own Pros or Cons in the comments and have a great weekend...