Why hast the Eastern Conference Forsaken Me?

I've been trying to be as patient as possible with the way the Eastern Conference Playoffs have played out thus far. However, after watching last night's turd-o-rama in the Meadowlands; I can no longer turn a blind eye to this pathetic season of dismal returns. Did I not sacrifice relationships with family and friends to watch games in November? Did I not stay up later than I should have to watch late night snooze fests such as Sonics vs. Blazers? And this is my reward? The only series that's given me any pleasure from the East thus far was Raps/Nets where Kidd horrified the Torontosaurus Rexes into a team-wide coma with his patented combo of Triple Doubles and Roundhouse Kicks. Bosh showed a little bit of his grown man in the deciding game six and other than that this ECPoffs has been a huge letdown. If only Stern had the authority or creativity to have piecemealed a squad of Eastern Conference all stars between the Wizards and Heat and then had them play the real and not damaged teams from this side of the Continent. It's been a down decade for all teams east of the Mississippi (excluding Detroit and what, I don't know, Chicago? Cleveland? I'm not counting Miami) and I pray that this season is the nadir. Sadly, I doubt this is the case.
Watching the Cavaliers has been a frustrating exercise in futility, reminds me of a teenaged Tony Ritz trying to remove a buxom brunette's bra to be honest. The Cavs are the NBA's equivalent to the Isle of Misfit Toys (don't even try to sell me on the concept of the Warriors as this metaphor.) With the Cavs you've got a morose prince(LeBron) who has already outgrown his empire and is waiting for the King (Mike Brown) to die, following that you've got a rogue's gallery of straight up Goofus's. "Did you hear, Eric Snow was the fucking hero last night!" "No shit!" "Yeah, he locked down Vince, who's been struggling with depression after his pinky finger died." So yeah, we're all in for a shit-tacular Eastern Conference Finals involving the Detroit Uber Korbball Spielers against LeBron and his set of Zydraunus, Drew Gooden and Sasha. Actually watching Sasha get the minutes and skilled up playing has also been radical, so that and Kidd are the highlights of these early round bouts of fussiness. Time for the whole Eastern Conference to stop being so fucking colicky, I pray for this.
The problem hasn't been only that da ChCago Buuls (attempt at spelling how many Chicagoans pronounce the name,) and the Toronto Raptors are the only fun teams to watch play. They both, in different styles, play a refreshing approach to the game. The Bulls with their stiff D and abillity to run uptempo or play half-court ball actually remind me of a lesser version of this year's Utah Yazz team. Granted Detroit is showing the Bulls how far they've still to come and why you shouldn't bring a knife to a gun fight; but with the Bulls you get the impression that they're going somewhere in the right direction and that Skiles and Paxson have more than half a brain twixt the two of them. With the Raps I'm not sure what to think. I've been in love with Bosh since he was a frosh at GT in 02-03 and watching him develop in Air Canada is a pleasure. I think Colangelo is a great GM and that he's going to do something else insane this off season, ala Villanueva for Ford last year. Whether the move will be an improvement for next year remains to be seen. But Bargnani, Bosh, Ford and Jorge will be able to confuse, flabbergast anybody for at least a season to come (fingers crossed!)