Suddenlystruttin's Spectacular Summer Movie Smackdown

We were looking at the office calendar earlier this week and [spit take!] realized that it's nearly July, which mean that the month of June is nearly over and that it's a matter of days until we start reminiscing about our dad passing out in the kiddie pool with a bottle of High Life pouring out onto the grass on the 4th of July. J/K, dad, we know you were never around for holidays. But we digress! with summertime comes a ton of Hollywood blockbusters and we'd be remiss as all fuck if we weren't willing to put our two cents into previewing some of the bigger flicks this season, so without further ado...

Wall-E

Some movie about, I don't know, robots? Great, well, I'm sure it's safe to assume that this animated romp has no truth nor fact and that it does not accurately portray robots as having taken over the universe and crushing mankind. Sorta like how the Y2K bug was snuffed out by the CIA and the Order of the Pentagram...

Hancock



Will Smith narrates and Jason Bateman has a cameo as the construction crane that helped create the architectural masterpiece that is the John Hancock Building. Starting with the landmark building's foundation as a humble landfill in the Streeterville neighborhood of Chicago and continuing the story of how the building came to be the 5th tallest building in the USA and paragon of the structural expressionist style of architecture that it is today. Charlize Theron also stars as "The Signature Room" where over one million people have been served in the 95th floor's famous lounge and restaurant.

The Dark Knight

Christian Bale stars as a conflicted knight in King Arthur's court in this medieval morality play. Is his dedication to the King and his own chivalry enough to resist the advances of the comely maiden? Ribaldry (and hilarity) are sure to ensue!