You Might Already be a Winner!

I know it's only Tuesday, but on the same half-block stretch of California Ave. I saw two very strong contenders for Jackass of the Week Honors. Our first entrant was some hipster chump sporting those tapered Levi's that are all the rage this year along with a zipped up pleather jacket in sunny 84 degree weather with a humidity of around 90%. Normally, this would be enough but to aid in his nomination he was also like 6'6 and was wearing doofus hipster glasses. On any given week, I would've given this fella the trophy (punch to the solar plexus) on the spot. BUT right down the road was an equally ambitious go-getter of all things jackassery entails. Yep, some jerk ass was taking a piss on the side of the road in plain day light behind only a recycling bin and there was a mom with a stroller like ten feet in front of him. I need to get another digicam and a plaque for these "awesome competitors" ASAP.