Irresponsible Wildlife Management: I was having a conversation about this Jackassery with a friend of mine, and he sorta looked up and said, "Serisously, fuck a salmon," and I can't put it more concisely than that. Let's review the policy of the California DNR to make sure we've got all the missteps correct.
Imaginary conversation between me and Public Relations guy from California:
Tony Ritz: "Okay, so you're certain killing off the entire fish population of a whole lake to wipe out one species, is the best idea you could employ?"
Cal. PR Guy. "Yes, you can bet your bottom dollar."
Me: "Hmmm, but what about poisoning a source of drinking water to an entire town?"
CPRG: "You got it and those moron's tax dollars are paying for this!" [Puttin on a somber air of professionalism] "Well, we've made arrangements for them to get healthy drinking water."
Me: "Okay, but, I mean, you guys looked into this and you're sure it's going to work, right?"
CPRG: "Uhh, well, no... not exactly"
Me: "Oh, you mean, you attempted this same feat in 1997 and the fish you were trying to exterminate made a full recovery within two years?"
CPRG: "This interview is over!"
Honorable Mention
The lard ass mofo who was eating a cheeseburger with one hand and holding a paper plate full of potato chips with the other, all while attempting to drive her car down down a city street and nearly hit me in the process. Fat Woman Driver, I salute you. If it weren't for your negligent driving and wanton craving of trans-fats to add more girth to your already supple ass, gut and arm fat reserves, I would not have been able to test out and challenge my own dexterity and agility while crossing the street. Thanks!
*Photo Credit The LA Times
5 comments:
You are very funny!!
Thanks. Keep on reading and commenting.
this one was way too long for me to even TRY to read. sorry.
Alison, seriously! If I can take the time to write this onto a blog, you can take the time to read it! Dang!
TRANS FAT....... thank you for using that in a blog post!
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