Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Bullish and Bearish

Bullish and Bearish is suddenlystruttin's skewed and self-serving [Huh? -Ed.] take on the trends dictating the day. The hotts and not-so-hotts. You get the idea...

Bullish


Old Man Winter
With aplomb Jack Frost has made his presence felt and I, for one, am loving it. Granted, I'll be sick of this bullshit, "What? another five inches of snow!" by the middle of next month. But for now, I'm enjoying the snowscapes in Logan Square and the opportunity to witness some idiot slip and fall on ice everytime I leave my apartment. Additionally, after the snow dumping Chicago got last night, I was thinking about how hilarious the "Mr. Plow" Simpsons episode is.


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Mr Plowed
An Irishman (is anybody surprised by this fact?) absconded with 450 kegs of Guinness, making him Mr Plowed, the ballsiest liquor baron ever! A hero to most and an idiot in the eyes of Tony Ritz. Why an idiot? Well, you see he stole all of that Guinness from the Dublin brewery and if there's one thing the Irish take seriously it's their lust for getting drunk. No it's true, they take getting drunk only slightly less-seriously than the Pope and not using birth control.

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Bearish


People Hocking Cologne on the Streets
Christ am I sick of these jackasses. It was bad enough when two or three of them marched into a crowded bar last Friday night spraying their disgusting colognes and perfumes into a crowd... Mmmm, is that a cheap knock-off of Passion by CK, oh, and it's mingling with the spilled beer and cigarette smoke so well!... But now, they've taken to pimping their cheap wares on the streets of Chicago. Give me the good ol' days when legitimate hoboes were selling you socks at a small mark up. I could use the socks and feel bad enough for the hoboes to buy them.

1 comment:

Drew said...

Tony, winter weather definitely goes under Bearish for me. Anything below 60 and I'm ready to hibernate until April with a cup of hot chocolate and a big fuzzy blanket.

I will concur on the Mr. Plow episode of the Simpsons. A classic