Bullish and Bearish

Bullish



Google, Inc.

Right now in my browser window I've got 3 tabs open and they're all a Google owned property: Gmail, Blogger and Google Images. But that type of browser dominance isn't enough, Google in the past week has gone into overdrive in terms of "all yr puters r belong to us!"

First, early last week the company announced that is was going to be pooling the users of some of the biggest social networking sites on "teh Internets," myspace, linkedin, friendster, et cetera; this theoretically will enable users of the sites to then begin incorporating their trusted friends and family members into other online forums. The hypothetical that was bandied about was having users and their network of friend available for selling and advising on craigslist. Although, this strikes me as a very useful concept the thing about social networking sites is that they are extremely vulnerable to the fickle nature of "cool." Myspace three years ago was the hottest shit in the Internet toilet and now it's just a website of shit, spammers and hookers abound and filtering through your myspace mail can be a major pain in the ass. Of course facebook is the freshest networking site for now and it's not even on board with this google social club, so time will tell.


"Move Units and Move South, Bitches! One Million, Two Million, Three Million, Four! Four Million, ah, ah, ah!


The thing that really got Google's investor's panties wet was the announcement of the open source technology being brought to the cellular market. Google's employing a cunning and enviably sustainable strategy of dropping the hottest technological ideas for mobile phones in the hope of making the phones more of a portable computer/media machine as opposed to "just a phone." Getting the cellies past the point of "just a phone" is what Googs is striving for. If Google can get this technology to market and enough cell providers on board, Google will be looking at a home-raised market of Internet ready mini-puters all with the capability for ad-clicks, sponsored links and user-intensive advertising all courtesy of Google. Yeah, and the China market is onboard for this project, damn!


Bearish



BRUNCH

I hate brunch. It's easily the most contrived of all meals, plus, there's almost a 100% chance that where ever I'm going for brunch it's going to be too crowded and too douchey. Brunch combines some of the most annoying things I can think of: Hangovers, noisy and crowded areas, douchebags, having to move fast and "get ready," waiting for a fucking meal, inane banter. I guess brunch does offer Bloody Mary's but that's it.

Women seem to really love brunch which is great for them, why they love it I can't understand. I'm pretty sure it involves a combination of the double x chromosomes, socializing, and female on female competition, which I'm all for in the proper arena: foxy boxing, mud wrestling...but not at meals.

In any case, brunch seems like one of those awful things males are burdened with if they want to have relations with the fairer sex. Yes, like listening to women drone on about their petty problems at work, brunch is one of those unpleasant duties you need to suffer through if you enjoy the company of a lady. But, ladies, PLEASE don't be one of those girls that need to do brunch every weekend. Don't do it! Ask your man to make you some pancakes or, heck, go out and grab your man and yourself some coffee. Please, no brunch every weekend.