Weekend Wrap

Happy Monday! If the reality of another work week starting wasn't enough to bring you down, then reading this review of the weekend that was in Big Ten Country should do the trick. I'm still hungover from going to two too many Halloween parties, I was Julius Caesar and like any good Roman Emperor for Life I had to revel with the fervor of Bacchus.

My life! Stricken down by my oldest friend, alas, "Et tu, High Life?"

In any case, on with the review of football...

Wisconsin 33 Indiana 3
"Uh, hi, Wisconsin, thanks for joining the rest of us." UW's defense after taking most of this season off from the whole concept of "effort," has shown up the past two weeks. It's one thing to mercilessly pound the snot out of MAC also ran, Northern Illinois, but the Badgers suffocated an Indiana team that had hitherto been rather good at offense. James Hardy was shut out from the endzone for the first time all year! against UW's secondary which is a head scratcher. Pajamas Hill went out with an injury and his backup, affectionately, known as "Home Jersey," thanks to his house arrest won't be playing in Columbus. Does not bode well for Bucky and crew. More on that later this week.

Illinois 28 Ball State 17
Congrats to the Zookster and his Fightin' Illini, Illinois is now heading for a bowl game for the first time since 2001 and only their third bowl game in the past 13 seasons. Ball State sorta didn't suck in this game and kept it pretty close for a lot longer than I'm sure the Illini Nation would've liked.

Iowa 34 Michigan State 27
Still not certain how Iowa managed to wrack up double digit points total, let alone a tally that got out of the low teens. But, uhh, hmm, well, Michigan State should really work on their defense. That's what I think, seriously, how do you give up 34 to Iowa? We are talking about the 2007 Iowa offense, the offense that's currently the fifth worst offense in the country, right? Good, cause for a minute I thought I was in some Bizzaro universe where Iowa was good at scoring points.

Purdue 35 Team Slumpbuster 17
This game was really entertaining for a half and then Purdue's offense went into overdrive as it is wont to do against inferior opponents. Credit's due for Northwest...err, Team Slumpbuster for scheming up an awesome hook and ladder play that they tied the game with in the second quarter. Good work! Please, if you need gimmick plays to score points, do so!

Michigan 34 Minnesota 10
Michigan stomped the life out of a pathetic Minnesota team, blah blah blah blah... I tell ya, this Michigan crushing everybody in the Big Ten is getting quite rote and it's not boding well for the conference if the Wolverines DO in fact win the Big Ten.

Ohio State 37 Paterno State 17
Well, that wasn't very close was it? Ohio State steamrolled another opponent in what should've been a challenging environment. I still don't think OSU is that good, but until someone shows up and can actually challenge them they'll keep getting their D's essed by the media, looking at tOSU's schedule the only team I can forsee slowing them down is Michigan.
As for Penn State, fuck you! This team has been terrible all year long with their only "marquee" wins being over a toothless and witless Notre Dame squad and a Wisconsin team that's more up and down than Robert Downey Jr. on a bender. Somewhere in Happy Valley the Nittany Lion's cold and dead black eyes are crying and there's nothing that can be done.