Noon EST. Big Ten Network, Kent State vs. #3 Ohio State: Fancy yourself a real early-riser and a real early drinker? Saddle up to the Bloody Marys and forgo the tomato juice, horseradish, and other bits that you might be tempted to "filter" that powerful vodka with. Pour yourself a tall one and get bleary-eyed quickly. Drinks til Watchable: 5.5
"Make it a double. No, a triple! and keep 'em coming!"Noon EST. ESPN2, #18 Illinois vs. Iowa: Indulge in a six pack of Capital Brewery's Autumnal Fire, 8.5% by Vol. or Bell's Two Hearted Ale 7.0% by Vol. and relish the great flavor at the same time as you relish watching Rashard Mendenhall punish Iowa's defense. Drinks til Watchable: 1.5-2
Noon EST. Mercifully, not televised, Minnesota vs. Northwestern: Do shots of tequilla until you pass out and then wake up three hours later. Drinks til Watchable: Infinity
Noon EST. Big Ten Network, Purdue vs. Michigan: A humdrum affair. Obviously watchable if you care passionately about either team. For the casual fan, I recommend Boilermakers, duh, and lots of them. Gather some friends and make a drinking game out Lloyd Carr's patented visage of contempt blended with aloofness. Drinks til Watchable: 3
Whiskey and Beer, two great tastes that go great together!3:30 EST. ABC, #19 Wisconsin vs. Paterno State*: Hey, look! Two stodgy Big Ten offenses are lining up against each other, hooray! Yes, these two teams will be battling it out in Monty Python "Twit of the Year Fashion," as neither squad's all that good. Penn State's defense is actually kinda good, so PJ Hill could possibly be contained. Fortunately, for UW fans, in spite of Wisconsin's atrocious defense, PSU's QB sucks even more! Drinks til Watchable: 3
7:00 EST. Big Ten Network, Indiana vs. Michigan State: This haas the potential to be the most exciting Big Ten game of the week as both teams are, y'know, good at offense and bad, soooo bad, at defense. I recommend a light ale as you ease yourself into your own comfort zone with Lady Libation as your companion. Drinks til Watchable: 2
* Oh, our bet is so on, Rudy! Two pitchers of beer to the winner. PSU=Road Rage and Incompetence! Your team is "teh sux!"
12 comments:
"The Penn State football coach acknowledged he had a verbal confrontation with a female driver last week following a near accident on campus." I assume it was something to the effect of "take off your shirt"
Barry and Joe Pa might be watching this game from the Hooters luxury box.
Barry and Joe Pa would easily be the best announcing tandem this side of anywhere.
Hope you're ready to pay up that bet again! (Although in the past it's always been the 2 pitcher bet; moving up to 1 case eh?)
All I have to say about JoePa is I *hope* to be 80 years old and still chasing down refs, enjoying my scotch, and cursing out women drivers (who hasn't?)
You're right. Tradition dictates that it's two pitchers to the winner. Does JoePa have any comment re: Austin Scott?
You know I'm such a sucker for tradition - but hey, if you want to increase the stakes to a case, you know I'm game.
Haven't heard any comment from JoePa re: Austin Scott. Rumors were rampant that it might have something to do with a sexual assault last Fri night, but more recent rumors suggest that it actually was "breaking a team rule" by going to a bar on Thurs night. Apparently he contends (through his mom) that he went to the bar to retrieve a female friend and didn't drink. He is actually listed on the depth chart though at the #3 RB slot (lowest we go). Who knows, we'll find out eventually.
It's okay. UW has a running back who can't travel with the team because he dragged his girlfriend out of a cab and then stole her shoes. Why? Because she refused to pay her half of the cab fare, duh!
Ok, I can see the throwing her out of the cab - but wtf with the shoes? Some kind of weird shoe fetish??
That's even stranger than your RB a few years back who got stabbed in the leg by his g/f in a domestic dispute.
Tony I actually read this one! Well, skimmed. Relating games to the number of drinks is more on my level of understanding. Good call.
thx drew, is clemson playing anyone?
no Clemson has a by this week thank HEAVENS so we can get some extra practices in. My grandma could run a better offense than Clemson can.
rape>shoe theft
uw>psu
Yeah, so apparently the initial rumors were correct - Scott got charged with rape today.
We'll see how this plays out - there have been a couple instances in the past (Scott Paxson, Rashard Casey) of players being accused of something and going to court, only to be found not guilty. So I'll await the workings of our ponderous Justice system.
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