Sports Thursday: Big Ten stuff

Big Ten Games

After the drudgery that was the slate of Big Ten games last weekend, this weekend's slate of games rewards us, the loyal viewers, with ...audible groan... more drudgery.

Eastern Michigan vs. Michigan Typically the flagship state institution never has any problems or issues when taking care of business with their smaller, directional-state university counter-parts. It's a dirty business: few questions are asked, the smaller schoool assumes the position and money is exchanged. Considering the Wolverines "struggles" earlier in the year, I imagine they'll be even more annoyed and prepared for this game than typical. It will be painful, messy and awful for Eastern Michigan and all they should do is think about the big pile of money they're getting paid. Michigan 41 Eastern Michigan 10

Northwestern vs. Michigan State The Spartans are coming off a sloppy loss in Madison, fortunately, Team Slumpbuster is rolling into town and just in time! Northwestern should really focus on keeping this one close, say, under three touchdowns. MSU 38 NU 14

Minnesota vs. Indiana Monsieurs Hardy and Lewis will continue to exploit undersized, slow secondaries this weekend as the charitably-described "rebuilding" Golden Gophers sidle into Bloomington. Hardy, who already has seven touchdowns, will be looking to add to his personal NFL scouts highlight video. Neither of these teams really believe in the concept of "defense", so it should be relatively high scoring and "funnish" to watch. Hoosiers 35 Minnesota 21

Wisconsin vs. Illinois I've been cringing at the prospect of this game since I saw the schedule, thinking to myself, "There's a loss for UW." Yes, after Paterno was "Zooked" last weekend, the Badgers are going to be the next victim for the coaching "genius" that is Ron Zook. Zook, who has the good-fortune of having the best running back that nobody's heard of, Rashard Mendenhall, will be riding Mendenhall and spread option QB extraordinaire, Juice Williams, to another victory against a ranked opponent. Ugh. Wisconsin 20 Illinois 31

Iowa vs. Paterno State Both Iowa and Paterno State come into this game coming off losses in consecutive weeks and neither really should relish at the prospect of 0-3 in conference and, "Hello, SunBowl!" Fittingly for this game both teams feature stout defenses and offenses that couldn't find their ass with a flashlight and a map. Will Anthony Morelli discover a new way to screw things up ? I doubt it. Iowa 10 Paterno State 21


"Yeah, that Morelli kid, I tell ya, He's the screen door in my submarine."

#4 Ohio State vs. #23 Purdue Every three or four years, Purdue's offense seems to be set to "retard-strength" levels similar to Bo Jackson's capabilites in Tecmo Bowl, but with passing as opposed to running. Well, this is another one of those years as the Boilermakers have yet to score fewer than 40 points in a game. Ohio State on the other hand has yet to give up more than two touchdowns in a game. Irrestible force. Meet. Immovable object. If this game were in Columbus there would be no doubt that tOSU would "Tresselball" their way to a victory. However, it's in West Lafayette, it's a night game and Ohio State always struggles at night and away from the 'Shoe. Purdue 28 Ohio State 23

Inevitable Notre Dame Watch

Notre Dame has opened up it's season with five straight losses a first in the history of the program. How many games can the Fightin' Irish lose in a row? At least one more because this weekend ND is at UCLA. The Bruins shall continue the miseries of the South Bend faithful.